So much to say, where do I begin?
My boyfriend broke up with me, and I feel lost. What did I do? I haven’t done anything. He just doesn’t like me anymore. Nobody ever likes me for very long. I’m not the same person I once was. I bet whoever he now likes is pretty. Much prettier than me, I bet he won’t get bored with her, like he did with me. I didn’t expect things to turn out this way, I just feel like I’m so alone all the time, and no matter how many people I’m with I still feel so utterly fucking alone. I fucking hate it. I don’t want to breathe. I don’t want to think. I just want to be happy. I want to be happy with him. But he doesn’t want me anymore. I feel like I’m all used up and now I’m just laying in a gutter. I feel like punching something. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. It’s not physically impossible to look at me in the eyes and tell me you’re in love with me and then you go and break up with me a week later. He told me he wasn’t gonna leave me. He told me he wasn’t that kind of guy. I believed him. He lied. Why do I always fall so hard for the guys who only have the slightest interest in me? I’m an idiot. The biggest idiot on the fucking face of the Earth. Although, I’m grateful I got to experience love. I enjoyed it. I cherished it. I loved it. And then it vanished. Hopefully I get to experience it again, but till then, the only person I can love is myself.
